Derek and I met in 1997. We had 2nd period P.E. together. He sat across the blacktop and smiled at me. I was smitten. When we ended up on the same football team the friendship began. I had a boyfriend at the time, but Derek pursued and 2 years later I gave in. Our senior year started and so did our relationship. In 2004 we got married. It was the most beautiful wedding. It was hot! Mid July in Southern California hot. Big Gerber Daisy’s, tons of friends, and my handsome soon to be husband at the end of a long aisle. It was a dream.

After two years of a happy marriage we decided to start trying for a baby. When the two lines showed up I was ecstatic. I bought the tiniest little booties I could find. I wrapped them with a note that said “Can’t wait to meet you daddy.” We were so happy. The weeks went by and we would read about his development. When the eyes were developing I would eat all the carrots I could choke down. We went to our first appointment and the Doctor said I was a little small so we would do an ultrasound. Derek took off work and my mom, dad and brother all showed up to see the first images of our angel. I went in, my bladder SO full, and waited for my family to be called in. Soon the tech told me I needed to see the doctor for the results. I knew something was wrong. They never called in my family. Next thing I knew I was in a waiting room full of pregnant women. I waited there for an hour. Then the words… There is no heartbeat. I cried, we all cried. Then the wait, the wait to miscarry my baby. That week the bleeding started and after 4 days and an ER visit, Derek found me on the bathroom floor with blue lips. Back to the ER and after hours waiting for a doctor to show up I required two blood transfusions and an emergency D&C surgery. We were 14 weeks pregnant.

After some time we tried again. This time I was scared to get to excited. We could not help it though. The weeks went by again and soon we were 12 weeks. My mom and I painted a blue and green nursery. The ultrasound and again “No heartbeat,” the Doctor said so coldly. My heart broke into a million pieces. Another surgery and life went on. Most of the time without me. I was hurt and angry with all that seemed happy and perfect in the world.

Then after a few months we decided we were ready to try one last time. This time we were with a high risk Doctor, but still terrified. We tried and month after month went by with no luck. Then finally on July 4, 2008 I woke up early praying for a miracle, and seconds later there were those familiar pink lines. Joy and terror simultaneously filled me. Would this be it. Would this be our long awaited child, or the end of the biggest dream of my life? Every doctor’s appointment God would send me little signs of comfort. A magazine in the waiting room read Virginia in big pink letters. A nurse would use a pink bandage and say, “How about pink, I have a feeling.” I told her we all felt it was a girl too. She said, “Maybe God is telling you something.” He was. After a long scary pregnancy our most precious angel Virginia Blue was born on March 3, 2009. Our three year journey of heart break was over when they handed me this tiny 8lb 5oz baby girl and she grabbed my finger (and my heart.) This will forever be the greatest day of our lives.

When Virginia Blue was three weeks old the phone rang. A women named Nancy was on the other end. She told me our baby tested positive Cystic Fibrosis. All terror came over me. What is this? How did she get it? How do I fix this? And so our journey began…

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